The first night was the henna party, which was a more traditional celebration from Yemen. It was a less formal night, but women were still dressed in formal evening gowns. For Saudi weddings, women go all out with their hair, makeup, and dress. Their makeup is so colorful and dramatic, similar to stage makeup, and their hair is equally as dramatic. The entire ensemble of a typical woman attending a Saudi wedding seems to call out "Look at me!", but I still haven't quite figured out who they want to notice them. These parties, like almost everything in Saudi Arabia, are segregated. Women are the only ones that see you all dressed up....which is why I am somewhat confused as to the reason women dress so extravagantly to weddings. I must admit, I enjoyed getting dressed up in a fancy formal dress, as I typically don't get a chance to do so. What girl doesn't like dressing up like a princess when they are young? I think some of that enjoyment must carry over into womanhood.
I sure felt like a princess as I looked at my reflection in the mirror before leaving to go to the henna and wedding parties. My dress was a floor-length dark purple dress that draped in all of the right places. The empire waist was decorated with silver rhinestones, which matched my sparkly ring, bracelet, and earrings. I had twisted my hair back and in a bun under one ear, placing a matching silver barrette over the bun to complete the ensemble. Most Saudi women go to a salon for hours to get their hair and makeup done for weddings. I did my own, but when I was finished, I felt like a movie star!
We had to cover our glamourous dresses temporarily as we climbed into the bus to go to the party. I found out later that muslim women must cover their face, even if they don't normally do so, because the extravagant makeup is "not natural". Once we made it past security, however, the abayas and veils came off and I actually felt underdressed next to the other women's expensive dresses. As we moved from the lobby towards the wedding hall, depositing our abayas at a counter on the way, I heard what can only be described as tribal yells. It is a sound that is made by moving the tongue up and down during a high-pitched yell. We were told that the women do this to celebrate. Throughout the night, I was often startled by one of these random "yells". They often came at the end of a song, but other times, at seemingly random times. Think of a church service where you hear many "Amen"s, and multiply that by ten. That is how often these "yells" would occur.
As we sat at a table munching on dates and chocolate, we listened to the very loud Yemen singer. Occasionally, we got up to dance. Every song has a similar beat, so the women dance the same no matter what song is being sung. The dance is a simple "step-two-three, step-two-three" with some hip action and waving of the arms if you are the adventurous or expressive dancer. The women continue this stepping rhythm in lines across the dance floor until they run out of room. Then, they change direction and parade across the dance floor again.
The children of the family came out to perform a ceremonial dance - one of my students was a part of this. There were also professional dancers that entertained us for awhile. On both nights, the bride made her grand entrance a couple of hours after the guests arrived. She descended a long staircase very slowly. It probably took her a good thirty minutes to reach the stage area. On the first night, she wore the traditional green and gold colors for the henna party. She also had gold beads hanging from her veil that made her look like Cleopatra. On the second night, she wore the traditional white wedding dress. She also performed traditional rituals with her husband in a private room, such as: cutting the wedding cake, feeding it to each other, and drinking a toast (non-alcoholic, of course). This was projected onto a big screen for the guests to see, since no men were allowed at the party - not even the husband. I am continually surprised at how many cultures have the same traditions at receptions (i.e., cutting the cake, feeding each other, etc.). I witnessed this in Thailand as well. When I witness these commonalities, I am reminded of how we are all humans and have the same desires, struggles, etc. We are all made in His image, and the unity (such as common traditions) amidst diversity is a testimony to that.
After much dancing and admiring the bride, we were finally ushered into a separate hall to partake of a vast buffet of food. We arrived at the parties around 11 p.m. and were not fed until around 3 a.m. - which is normal for Saudi weddings - so I didn't have much of an appetite. However, the food I did eat both nights was delicious. The variety ranged from traditional Arabic food, Chinese food, Italian, a fresh Sushi bar, and a myriad of desserts (unfortunately, we weren't able to have some of the wedding cake).
Because of the two late nights, I ended up getting sick. It took me a full week to recover. So, even though this was an amazing cultural experience, I probably won't be attending another Saudi wedding in the near future - or if I do, I won't stay as long.
